When Someone Would Rather Scroll Than Talk to You—How to Handle the Strain on Your Relationship

Thanks to Meta, our social skills are on the decline. We’re more connected than ever before, yet somehow, we’ve never felt more isolated—even in a house full of family or a room full of friends. Social media is a drug, and our brains crave more and more of it, often at the expense of real, meaningful interactions with the people who matter most.

No one likes the feeling of being out at dinner, trying to have a conversation, only to look up and see their friend, partner, or even a family member mindlessly scrolling through someone else’s vacation photos or watching a stranger’s Instagram story. It’s frustrating, it’s hurtful, and over time, it can create serious cracks in relationships.

If you’re struggling with someone in your life who seems more interested in their screen than in you, here are some steps to handle it—and, most importantly, to remember your own worth in the process.

1. Address It Head-On—Without Blaming

Before resentment builds up, have an honest conversation. Instead of saying, “You’re always on your phone,” try something like:

• “I feel really disconnected when we spend time together, and you’re on your phone. Can we have some screen-free moments?”

• “I love spending time with you, but sometimes it feels like your phone gets more attention than I do.”

Framing it as your feelings rather than their flaw makes it more likely they’ll listen without getting defensive.

2. Set Boundaries for Phone Use

Suggest phone-free moments, like:

• No scrolling during meals

• Putting phones away during one-on-one hangouts

• Designating “quality time” where you both stay off screens

If they push back, ask them to try it for a week. They might not even realize how much they’ve been prioritizing their screen over real-life relationships.

3. Lead by Example

It’s easy to call out someone else’s scrolling habits while we’re guilty of the same thing. If you want them to put their phone down, make sure you are also practicing what you preach. Be present, show interest, and don’t reach for your phone the second there’s a lull in conversation.

4. Find Activities That Require Full Attention

Sometimes, breaking a habit means replacing it with something better. Plan activities that require actual engagement, like:

• Cooking together

• Going for a walk without phones

• Playing a game, starting a hobby, or doing something hands-on

When people are engaged in something fun and meaningful, they’re less likely to default to their screens.

5. Ask Yourself: Is This a One-Off or a Pattern?

A little social media time is normal—but if someone in your life constantly chooses their screen over engaging with you, it might be time to step back and ask some tough questions:

• Is this just a habit, or are they avoiding deeper connection?

• Do they seem genuinely interested in spending time with me?

• Am I the only one trying to fix this?

If their scrolling is just a symptom of emotional distance, a serious conversation (or even space from that relationship) might be needed.

6. Remember Your Own Worth

At the end of the day, you deserve relationships—whether romantic, platonic, or familial—where you feel seen and valued. If someone refuses to acknowledge how their behavior is affecting you, ask yourself:

• Am I okay feeling like second place to a screen?

• Do I feel emotionally fulfilled in this relationship?

• If nothing changes, will I still be happy with this dynamic in a year?

Because while social media might be addicting, you should never have to fight for attention from the people who are supposed to care about you.

Technology isn’t going anywhere, but that doesn’t mean we have to accept disconnection in our relationships. If someone’s scrolling habits are causing strain, speak up, set boundaries, and remember your worth. At the end of the day, the people who truly value you will put down their phones—and show up for you.

And if they don’t? You can always find people who will.

Love Cass xoxo