Is My Parent Financially Abusing Me?

It’s natural to want to help your parents financially—many of us feel a strong duty to give back. But sometimes, that support can cross into a toxic pattern. Financial abuse by parents is more common than people realize, and it doesn’t always look like “abuse” at first.

Take my friend, for example: his mother is financially dependent on him for everything. She expects holidays, new Apple laptops, cars, and even used him to build her new house—without paying him for his labor. On the surface, it might look like devotion, but underneath, he’s left wondering if she’s holding him back from financial freedom, independence, and even love.

So, how do you know if your parent is financially abusing you? Here are six clear signs to look out for.

1. They Expect You to Cover Big Expenses Regularly

Paying for groceries or helping with the bills is one thing. But if your parent relies on you for luxury items, constant upgrades, or major expenses they could manage themselves, it’s a warning sign they’re taking advantage.

2. Your Financial Goals Are Always Delayed

If you can’t save for a home, invest in your future, or build stability because your parent drains your income, this may be financial abuse. Your dreams should not always come second.

3. They Guilt-Trip You When You Say No

One of the biggest red flags is when a parent manipulates you emotionally. If they guilt-trip you for setting boundaries or make you feel selfish for saying “no,” the relationship is becoming unhealthy.

4. Your Independence Feels Blocked

Parents should want their children to thrive. But if their constant financial demands stop you from building a life of your own—finding love, moving out, or growing financially—it’s a toxic dynamic.

5. You Feel More Like Their Provider Than Their Child

Healthy parent-child relationships aren’t built on transactions. If you feel more like a bank account than a son or daughter, it’s a strong indicator that your parent is crossing the line.

6. You Feel Drained, Resentful, or Trapped

Your feelings are valid. If you’re carrying resentment, stress, or dread every time money comes up, your inner voice is telling you something: this relationship has become one-sided and unhealthy.

It’s not selfish to set financial boundaries with your parents—it’s necessary for your well-being. Financial abuse can keep you stuck, unable to grow or live fully. Remember: caring for your parents doesn’t mean sacrificing your entire future. You deserve independence, stability, and the chance to build your own life. Protecting your financial freedom isn’t a betrayal—it’s an act of self-respect.

From Jack