How to Tell Your Friend to Stop Sleeping with That F-Boy (Without Ruining Your Friendship)

Rubie Le'faine
Apr 12
3 min read

Here’s an article written from a compassionate, honest, and relatable female perspective:

We all have that one friend. The one who says she’s ready for something real. Who cries after another bad situationship. Who keeps saying she wants a good guy—but somehow always ends up tangled in the sheets (and emotions) of someone who’s clearly not it.

And we love her. That’s what makes this so hard.

Watching someone you care about continuously invest her time, heart, and body into a guy who’s only in it for the ego boost or 2 a.m. hookup is painful. Especially when you know she deserves so much more. But telling her? That's tricky. You don’t want to shame her, judge her, or push her away.

So how do you bring it up—without hurting her or ruining the friendship?

Let’s break it down.

First: Understand What’s Really Going On

This isn’t just about sex. It’s not even just about the guy.

When someone keeps going back to an F-boy, it’s usually rooted in something deeper—like loneliness, low self-worth, or the exhausting cycle of hoping this time will be different. She might think, “If I can just be cool enough, fun enough, sexy enough, maybe he’ll change his mind.”

But here’s the truth: he won’t. F-boys don’t accidentally become boyfriends. They intentionally avoid depth. They breadcrumb, charm, and keep the door just slightly open enough to make a woman believe there's potential—when really, there never was.

And for your friend? That’s mentally draining. It’s emotional labor with no return. Every “maybe” and every “what if” chips away at her confidence and makes her start to believe that bare minimum attention is the best she’s going to get.

That’s not just unhealthy—it’s heartbreaking.

Approach Her from a Place of Love, Not Judgment

Before you say anything, check your tone and your intentions. This isn’t about being “right” or proving a point. This is about reminding her of her worth.

Instead of saying: “You need to stop hooking up with that loser.” Try:“I know you want something meaningful, and I’m scared this situation is holding you back from that.”

Focus on what you see and how it’s affecting her:

“I’ve noticed that you seem really anxious and down every time he ghosts you. That worries me.”
“You deserve someone who makes you feel chosen—not someone who only calls when he’s bored.”
“I know how badly you want love. And I just don’t think he’s capable of giving that.”

Make it clear this isn’t about her being “dumb” or “naive.” She’s not. She’s human. And humans are wired to seek connection—even if it’s sometimes in the wrong places.

Help Her Reframe What She Deserves

Sometimes, women go back to F-boys not because they want that lifestyle, but because they’ve forgotten what real connection feels like. Or they’ve never had it at all.

Help her remember:

Love shouldn’t feel like chasing.
Affection shouldn’t be conditional.
Chemistry shouldn’t be confused with chaos.

Ask gentle questions to guide her reflection:

“How do you feel after seeing him—energized or empty?”
“If a guy really wanted to be with you, would you have to guess?”
“What would you tell me if I were in this same situation?”

Let her come to her own conclusions. That’s how the real shift happens.

Be There Through the Comebacks (Because There Will Be)

Even if your talk lands perfectly, don’t expect an instant change. She might go back to him. She might justify it. She might have to touch the fire again just to know it burns.

Don’t withdraw your friendship if that happens. That doesn’t mean your words didn’t matter—it just means she’s not ready yet.

Be the soft place she can land when it finally clicks. Be the reminder of who she is without him. That support will mean more to her in the long run than any “I told you so.”

You Can’t Save Her, But You Can Love Her Through It

It’s one of the hardest parts of friendship—watching someone you love keep choosing pain over peace. But we all have our lessons. We all have our heartbreaks. And sometimes, it takes being broken by the wrong one to realize you were whole all along.

So speak up. Kindly. Honestly. From a place of deep care, not control.

Because when she finally walks away from that F-boy for good, she won’t just remember how he made her feel—she’ll remember who stood by her side when she was figuring it out.

And that person? That’s you.

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Love Rubie xox