How to Have a Confident, Strategic Pay Rise Conversation With Your Boss

When “Grateful to Have a Job” Isn’t Enough Anymore

I didn’t wake up one morning demanding more money.

It crept in slowly — the extra responsibilities, the longer hours, the emotional labour, the expectation to always be available. I was dependable, consistent, and quietly carrying more than my job description ever outlined.

And yet, my pay stayed the same.

Feeling undervalued at work rarely arrives as anger. It arrives as exhaustion. As disengagement. As that sinking feeling when you realise you’re giving more than you’re getting — and no one seems to notice.

According to workplace psychologists, this feeling isn’t entitlement. It’s a signal.

Research published by Gallup shows that employees who feel undervalued are significantly more likely to disengage, burn out, or quietly plan their exit. Source: https://www.gallup.com/workplace/236441/employee-engagement-drives-growth.aspx

A pay rise conversation isn’t just about money. It’s about alignment, respect, and sustainability.

Here’s how to have that conversation — confidently, strategically, and without apologising for wanting to be paid fairly.

1. Understand Why Feeling Undervalued Is a Serious Workplace Issue

Feeling undervalued isn’t a personal weakness — it’s a systemic workplace problem.

When employees consistently give more than they’re compensated for, resentment builds. Over time, motivation declines, performance suffers, and mental health is impacted.

The Harvard Business Review reports that recognition and fair compensation are among the top drivers of job satisfaction and retention. Employees who feel fairly rewarded are more productive and more loyal.Source: https://hbr.org/2018/11/a-better-way-to-reward-employees

If you’re feeling undervalued, it’s likely because:

• Your role has evolved without compensation

• Your workload has increased significantly

• Your contributions are invisible or taken for granted

• Market salaries have risen while yours hasn’t

Recognising this isn’t complaining — it’s awareness.

And awareness is the first step toward advocacy.

2. Get Clear on Your Value Before You Ask for More Money

Before you walk into your boss’s office, you need clarity — not emotion.

Pay rise discussions work best when they’re grounded in evidence, not frustration.

Ask yourself:

• What responsibilities do I now carry that weren’t in my original role?

• What results have I delivered?

• Where have I added measurable value?

According to Indeed Career Guide, successful salary negotiations focus on outcomes, impact, and results — not effort alone.Source: https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/pay-salary/how-to-ask-for-a-raise

Create a simple document outlining:

• Achievements

• Revenue saved or generated

• Projects led

• Problems solved

• Positive feedback received

This isn’t about proving your worth — it’s about making it visible.

3. Do Market Research So You’re Asking for the Right Amount

One of the biggest mistakes people make when asking for a pay rise is not knowing their market value.

Feeling undervalued emotionally is valid — but negotiations are strengthened by data.

Use reputable sources like:

• Glassdoor

• PayScale

• LinkedIn Salary Insights

According to PayScale, employees who research salary benchmarks before negotiating are significantly more likely to receive a raise.Source: https://www.payscale.com/career-advice/how-to-ask-for-a-raise/

Know:

• The average salary for your role

• The range based on experience

• Industry trends and inflation pressures

This positions your request as informed and reasonable — not reactive.

4. Choose the Right Timing (It Matters More Than You Think)

Timing can make or break a pay rise conversation.

Experts recommend initiating salary discussions:

• After delivering a strong result

• During performance reviews

• When taking on new responsibilities

• During company growth periods

According to Forbes, asking for a raise during moments of demonstrated value significantly improves success rates. Source: https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2021/06/27/how-to-ask-for-a-raise/

Avoid:

• High-stress company periods

• Moments of organisational uncertainty

• Emotional or reactive timing

This isn’t about waiting forever — it’s about choosing a moment where your contribution is undeniable.

5. How to Frame the Conversation (Without Sounding Demanding)

This is where many people — especially women — get stuck.

We’re taught to be grateful, flexible, and agreeable. But confidence doesn’t require aggression.

Use collaborative language, not confrontation.

Example framing:

“I’d love to discuss how my role has evolved and explore whether my compensation still aligns with the value I’m delivering.”

According to negotiation expert Dr. Hannah Riley Bowles (Harvard Kennedy School), framing salary discussions as collaborative problem-solving leads to better outcomes — especially for women. Source: https://www.hks.harvard.edu/publications/why-women-dont-ask

Avoid:

• Apologising

• Over-explaining

• Comparing yourself to colleagues

• Making it personal

This isn’t about fairness feelings — it’s about professional alignment.

6. Be Prepared for Pushback — and Know How to Respond

Not every pay rise conversation ends with an immediate yes.

And that doesn’t mean you failed.

If your boss says:

• “It’s not in the budget right now”

• “We’ll revisit this later”

Respond with curiosity, not defeat.

Ask:

• “What would need to happen for this to be reconsidered?”

• “What benchmarks should I be aiming for?”

• “Can we set a review timeline?”

According to The Muse, employees who ask follow-up questions and set clear next steps are more likely to receive a raise later. Source: https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-to-ask-for-a-raise

A delayed yes is still progress — if it’s documented.

7. When a Pay Rise Isn’t Coming — and What That Tells You

Sometimes, the hardest truth is this: the company won’t pay you more — not because you’re not valuable, but because they’ve chosen not to.

This is information.

According to McKinsey, employees who feel undervalued and unsupported are significantly more likely to leave within 12 months — often for substantial pay increases elsewhere. Source: https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/people-and-organizational-performance/our-insights/the-great-attrition

If your value isn’t recognised:

• Reassess your long-term growth

• Explore external opportunities

• Advocate for yourself elsewhere

Staying silent doesn’t protect loyalty — it erodes self-worth.

Wanting Fair Pay Isn’t Greed — It’s Self-Respect

Feeling undervalued is exhausting because it forces you to question your worth.

But your value doesn’t disappear just because it isn’t acknowledged.

A pay rise conversation is an act of self-respect. It’s a decision to stop hoping someone will notice — and start advocating for yourself with clarity and confidence.

You’re not asking for too much.

You’re asking for alignment.

From Jack