How to Celebrate Your Friend’s Wedding—Even If You Think Marriage Is a Scam

As a little girl, I thought it was odd that all my friends dreamed of their big wedding day and meeting their Prince Charming, while I dreamed of being a single, independent woman doing things that made me happy. I used to cringe when my friends would say, "When I meet the love of my life, my real life will start," because I always knew that the love of my life was myself.

To me, having a partner has always felt like taking on a full-time job—one that comes with stress, expectations, and compromise. And why would I want to add any of that to a life already filled with happiness and self-love?

That being said, I’m a girl’s girl through and through, and a lot of my closest friends are getting married. Even though I may not understand the appeal of marriage, I do understand the joy it brings them. I’ve seen how their excitement makes them glow even brighter, and I’d never want to dull that happiness.

Attending weddings can sometimes feel a little strange to me—so many traditions and expectations that don’t align with my personal beliefs. But at the end of the day, it’s not about me. It’s about celebrating people I love and making memories that will last a lifetime.

So if you’re like me—someone who doesn’t believe in marriage but still wants to be a supportive friend—here are seven ways to celebrate without compromising your own values.

1. Focus on Your Friendship, Not the Marriage

This day isn’t about marriage as a concept—it’s about your friend finding happiness. Keep your attention on them and your shared memories instead of fixating on the institution itself.

2. Set Boundaries for Conversations

People will ask when you’re getting married. They will assume you’re excited about the whole process. Instead of getting frustrated, have a few lighthearted responses ready:

• "I’m married to my freedom, and we’re in a very committed relationship."

• "I’m just here for the cake and the dance floor!"

Redirect the conversation without making it awkward.

3. Find a Role That Feels Authentic to You

If being a bridesmaid or giving a toast feels too much like endorsing marriage, offer support in a different way—maybe by helping with logistics, hyping up your friend, or simply being their emotional rock during stressful moments.

4. Redefine the Gift-Giving Tradition

Skip the classic registry and give something that feels more like you and your friendship. A blender or fancy dishware might not be your vibe, but a gift that reflects the bond you share will mean so much more.

Consider:

• A Memory Scrapbook – Fill it with photos, inside jokes, and letters reminding them of all the adventures you’ve had together.

• An Experience for Just the Two of You – A spa day, a concert, or a weekend getaway for some post-wedding bestie time.

• A ‘Break from Marriage’ Kit – A care package with their favorite snacks, a solo date idea, and a reminder that they’re still their own person outside of their relationship.

• A Letter About Your Friendship – A heartfelt note about how much they mean to you, independent of their marriage. Because romantic love isn’t the only love worth celebrating.

This way, your gift isn’t about marriage—it’s about your connection, which is just as special.

5. Take Breaks When You Need To

Weddings can be overwhelming—especially when they include vows and speeches about “forever” that don’t resonate with you. It’s okay to step outside, take a deep breath, and come back when you’re ready to rejoin the celebration.

6. Celebrate the Moment, Not the Institution

You might not believe in marriage, but you do believe in love, happiness, and friendship. Focus on the fun—dancing, eating great food, and watching your friend have their dream day.

7. Be the Life of the Party

Even if you don’t support the reason behind the event, you can still bring good energy. Be the friend hyping up the dance floor, making everyone laugh, and reminding the couple why they wanted you there in the first place.

At the end of the day, your views on marriage don’t define your ability to be an incredible friend. So go, celebrate, and make memories—just don’t let anyone try to catch the bouquet on your behalf.

Love Rubie XOXO