We Always Knew — And We Always Loved Him for It

Growing up, we all had that one friend who sparkled a little brighter than the rest of us. Mine was Liam — theatre-eccentric, spectacularly dramatic, a natural performer who could turn a simple walk down the school hallway into a full Broadway audition. He loved to sing, belt, dance, twirl, and whenever a school event required costumes or glitter? He was front and centre, already stitching a feather boa to something.

He floated effortlessly between groups — mostly girls, a handful of soft-spoken boys, and the rest of us who orbited around him because life just felt more colourful when he was near.And honestly? We always suspected he might be gay. Not because of stereotypes, but because he radiated that particular brand of fabulousness that made labels feel unnecessary.

But here’s what’s beautiful: it never bothered us.We adored him exactly as he was.

Fast-forward years later into his early twenties, when he finally sat us down and said quietly,"Guys… I’m gay.”We didn’t even blink.

But looking back, it’s obvious that he’d been dropping hints along the way — signs that he was gearing up for the moment he’d say it out loud. Signs that maybe, he hoped, we’d notice so the conversation wouldn’t feel so heavy. Maybe even signs that he hoped we’d ask first so he didn’t have to find the words.

Here are six signs he showed in the lead-up to coming out — the same ones your friend might be subtly revealing too.

1. He Became More Open About Gay Culture — Softly, Gently, Testing the Waters

Before he officially came out, Liam suddenly became the group’s unofficial authority on queer pop culture.

He knew:

• which queens were dominating RuPaul’s Drag Race,

• which male celebrities were gay icons,

• which TikTok trends were “giving soft masc energy,”

• and why every gay person must attend at least one Kylie Minogue concert in their lifetime.

But here’s the thing: he wasn’t loud about it.Not yet.

Instead, he’d sprinkle tiny comments like,“Oh my god, this drag queen is such a vibe,”or“Harry Styles in a dress? Honestly, same.”

These comments were gentle nudges — invitations to test whether we were safe people.People who didn’t flinch.People who wouldn’t judge.

When you’re not ready to announce your identity, you reveal it through pop culture first. It’s safer.It’s softer.It’s a quiet way of saying, “This is part of me…”without saying the whole sentence.

2. His Fashion Choices Started Shifting — Not Randomly, But Intentionally

Liam had always dressed better than the rest of us. But around the time he was preparing to come out, things… elevated.

Suddenly:

• cropped shirts appeared in his wardrobe,

• he accessorised like he had a stylist,

• his eyebrows were immaculate,

• and his perfume collection multiplied like Pokémon.

He once said,“I’m just experimenting,”but we knew that meant:“I’m discovering the version of myself I want to present to the world.”

When someone is preparing to come out, their style often shifts to match their internal identity:more confidence,more flair,more truth.

It’s like their clothes come out before they do.

3. He Asked More Questions About Relationships — But Always Through Metaphors

Instead of directly asking about gay relationships, he’d ask things like:

“What would you do if someone liked someone… but wasn’t sure how to say it?”“Do you think people know who they are when they’re young?”“Do you think it’s weird if someone doesn’t like girls?”

These weren’t random questions.They were reflections of the internal conversations he was already having with himself.

It’s incredibly common for people, before coming out, to seek reassurance disguised as hypotheticals.They’re trying to gauge:

• Is it safe to tell you?

• Will you judge me?

• Will this change how you see me?

Liam wasn’t asking about “someone.”He was asking about himself.

4. He Started Making More Gay Friends — And Actually Calling Them Friends

Before he came out, Liam started meeting a new group of friends through uni, theatre, and local LGBTQ+ events. But he didn’t call them “friends” at first.

He called them:“People I know”or“People from my class.”

Slowly, over months, the label shifted.He felt safer telling us who these people were, what they meant to him, and why he connected with them.

This is a huge sign for anyone approaching the coming-out stage:they begin gravitating toward people who reflect who they are becoming.

It’s not about replacing old friendships — it’s about finally seeing themselves in others.

5. He Became More Protective of His Privacy — Especially Around Dating

Even when Liam wasn’t dating, he suddenly became very cautious about who he texted, where he went, or what apps he used.

He’d tilt his phone away.He’d get shy when notifications pinged.He’d dismiss curious questions with, “Oh, no one important.”

Not because he was hiding—but because he was preparing.

Coming out isn’t one moment.It’s a thousand tiny ones.

And the months leading up to it often involve slowly creating emotional boundaries while someone figures out who deserves full access to their life.

Privacy becomes a form of safety.

6. He Started Dropping Micro-Hints — Hoping We’d Catch On

This was the biggest sign of all.

He’d say things like:“Honestly, some guys are really attractive.”or“If I were gay — hypothetically…”

These weren’t slip-ups.These were invitations.

He was hoping — praying, maybe — that we’d respond gently. That we’d say something like:

“It’s totally fine if you are.”“We love you no matter what.”“You can tell us anything.”

But we didn’t pick up on it at the time.Not because we were unobservant — but because we didn’t want to assume.We didn’t want to label him before he was ready.

Those hints were his way of preparing us.Preparing himself.Preparing the moment.

Looking back, every subtle comment was a breadcrumb leading to the truth he wanted to share.

Closing: The Signs Were Never About ‘Knowing’ — They Were About Love

When Liam finally came out, he said something I’ll never forget:

“I just didn’t want it to be awkward or disappointing. I didn’t want you to look at me differently.”

But here’s the thing — we didn’t.He was still the same fabulous, dramatic, glitter-covered theatre kid we’d always known and adored.Coming out didn’t change him.It simply let him breathe.

The signs he showed weren’t warnings.They were hopes.Hopes that we would be the safe place he needed.Hopes that we would hold the truth gently when he finally spoke it aloud.

Your best friend, if he’s dropping similar signs, isn’t trying to shock you.He’s trying to trust you.He’s trying to show you who he is — slowly, softly, bravely.

And when the moment comes for him to say it out loud, the greatest gift you can offer is simple:

“Thank you for telling me. I love you exactly as you are.”

Love Arlyn xoxo